I was perhaps 5 or 6 years old and sitting in yet another boring Sunday Mass when I became conscious of the content of the sermon and began questioning it. I was raised Catholic as my paternal grandmother was devout Irish Catholic and apparently everyone converted when marrying into the family considering my paternal grandfather and my mother were raised Methodist. So I recall boring Sunday mornings hearing snippets of the homily and thinking in my 5 or 6 yr old mind the equivalent of "WTF?" I turned to whatever parent I was near and commented on it. It was not right! That's what my young mind was telling me. Needless to say I was shut up pretty darn quick and learned not to voice my questions or opinions there. It did plant a seed of questioning what was being said and taught in the Catholic church. I knew by middle school I had to get the heck out. It was legal torture, in my opinion, and sucking my soul out. Meanwhile I was heavily influenced by my maternal grandparents who were children of a long line of farmers and sea-going folk. Peoples who were very connected to the land, earth cycles and respected it. They taught me so much of the old ways, from observing wild life to know what was coming, to planting gardens, anything you can imagine.
I was in junior high school when Freyja made herself known to me. From there it was gentle lessons scattered throughout my teen years. By the time I was 16 and my Irish Nana had just passed away, I dedicated myself to a Pagan path on 26th October and never looked back. I was exposed to "white witches" in high school, became a frequent customer at a crystal shop, there was not the plethora of books and such that there are now. I taught myself, absorbed what my grandparents taught me and knew from instinct what was right for me. I spent maybe 5 minutes in Wicca as a young adult, courtesy of Scott Cunningham. He was a wonderful teacher but that path was
not for me as it smacked too much of the ritualistic Catholic upbringing I had. While many feel a need for reverence to those throughout the 1900's who helped to bring Witches and Pagans mainstream, I never have. Most of them give me a sick feeling in my gut that I have never understood. It could simply be to keep me moving on my ever-evolving, eclectic path and to stay away from groups and rituals that are not for me. Organized religion has never been my thing and as far as I am concerned covens are a form of that. So I'll stick with what is best for me.
My ancestry is heavily Celtic and Norse-old Colonial New England ancestors with deep roots throughout Ireland, the UK and Brittany. Norman families with roots up into Scandinavia. These are the histories and lore that make my soul sing and reflect in my spirituality.
In recent years I have been in flux again. The only constant has been my deep abiding love of Nature. It was my soothing balm to any bad day and I spend long hours out escaping in amongst the trees listening to the cacophony of birds and bugs. My witchy practices tend to favor a green/kitchen type witch. I have spent my life studying herbs, crystals, nature, astrology, numerology and fighting my empathic, clairaudient gifts.
When I am a crone and my beloved daughter is grown and off living her life, I will be that white haired old lady (or maybe dyed flame red, who knows!) in a cottage near the sea with a bazillion cats and chickens and taking in every stray that comes my way. Growing my food, flowers and herbs, photographing everything I can and honoring the seasons, Moon, stars, earth, sun with my actions (and cooking!).
For now I am a mother healer who wrestles with her growing psychic gifts and helping anyone I can with them. Raising my wee witchling and trying to reconnect with the rhythms of Nature that I hold so dear. I honor and try to celebrate eat feast day-of which I refer to most of them in their Scots Gaelic names/spellings to honor my ancestors. (i.e. Samhuinn, Bealltainn, Lunasda)
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